I was looking forward to a great day surfing the Net posting my daily crowd powered articles on Now Public, checking Drudge and writing for my blog Cyber ink. But when i get to my computer Nothing! Ok so i check to see what’s wrong, calmly checking cables, T.V. is ok then i check my modem Nothing!! Panic starts to slowly take over, now i must do the dreaded call to the Cable Company. Of course i call as if I’m the only one with my cable down. When i get the Rep. i notice she has an Indian accent, maybe Punjabi.
I say miss my cable is out, she says “yes your area is affected by a temporary interruption in service”, i say “how do you know your in India”. At this point she knows that she is dealing with a desperate lost soul, she quietly says “sir i am in Miami and i assure you we are working on the problem”. I come to my senses and say thank you hoping i didn’t p@#*her off and she turns mine back on last.

As i sit looking at an empty screen i think to myself. i guess ill watch Cable news, the Dems had a debate the day before and i was interested in what happened.
This is how it went, there were three people talking. (1) “well it looks like Hillary hit one out of the park like Barry Bonds she was smart on point she looked presidential”. (2) ” i would have to agree with that, did you notice how prepared she seems so much smarter than the others”. (3) “has she lost some weight, i bet Bill is giving her a double take when she passes by”. (1) “i noticed that too” they show a clip of Hillary saying something to Obama and the whole crowd boos. (1) ” did you see how she handled that like a pro”. (2) ” you have to remember this is Obamas home town” (3) ‘ i think she locked up the nomination last night”. (2) “so do i”.

After the commercial break #1 says ” Dodd and Biden looked pretty good too they even ganged up on Obama with Hillary”. (2) ” yeah they looked good” (3) ‘”Biden is a good speaker”. (1) ‘ did you notice Edwards” (2) ” who?” (3)” yes he seems to have done ok” (1)” Kucinich couldn’t see over the podium”. and everyone laughed. (1)” i think it was Hillary’s night”. They all agreed.
Now they turned to the Republicans (1) “How about Rudi’s daughter she is an Obama girl” (2) ” How embarrassing” (3) ” what a failure as a father” (2) ” i wonder what he did to her for his own daughter to hate him” (3) ” pretty sorry”. (1) ” what about Fred Thompsons wife” (2) “he is a cradle robber” (3) ” i think she is a trophy wife” (1) “does Mitt Romney believe in God?” (2) ” don’t Mormons have like a bunch of wives”. (3) ” thats sick” (1) ” he seems like he has a bad temper” (2)” not good”.

At this point I’m looking out the window. maybe the cable guy is coming down the street. I decide to switch channels and get another cable news channel. They have Jessie Jackson on and he is saying ” there will be no bridge collapses if the Dems get the White House”. I quickly change back to another news channel.

CNN Newsroom, co-anchor Phillips was interviewing Lt. General Raymond Odierno, the MNF second-in-command in Iraq.

CNN Anchor Kyra Phillips: You know there’s been a lot of shifting around in positions, a lot of positions lost, key positions. Do you think that this job that you’ve taken on could be career suicide?
LT. GEN. RAYMOND ODIERNO: Oh, I don’t worry about that. All I care about is getting the mission done. As long as I feel comfortable with what I’m doing, as long as I feel comfortable that we’re doing the right thing, that’s all that really counts, and that’s what I expect the American people would expect. Kyra Phillips must be an idiot i thought to ask that question.

I am no longer looking out the window because when you anticipate something the best thing to do is ignore it. so i continue to channel surf.

Chris Matthews Show began with Matthews wondering “Is there anything that’ll stop the Democrats?” He said no: “We put it to the Matthews Meter, 12 of our regular panelists. ‘Is the ‘08 election the Democrats’ to lose?’ It’s a wipe out. Rarely do we see this perfection. Twelve to zip. Everyone says yes, it’s the Democrats’ to lose. In other words they’re probably gonna win easily.”
When he goes to the panel and asks about the Republican point of view, i notice out of six people, there were no Republicans. He looked at all of them with a straight face and said “were do the Republican stand. Not one of them said “Chris we don’t know the Republican view were all Democrats. I was starting to sweat.

I switched back. what happens next is a string of stories all accompanied by so called “experts”. Were do they get these people.

1. Scientists at the Rowett Research Institute at Aberdeen over in the UK have discovered that mating among overweight people is boosting obesity in the world. Scientists say that people select partners of a similar size to them. Expert confirms.

2. People who suffer from excessive armpit sweating may find relief with a minimally invasive surgical procedure, a study shows. Really sweaty ‘pits, technically known as focal axillary hyperhidrosis, can cause ’serious emotional and social problems. Expert confirms.

3. Mia Farrow has offered to give up her freedom so that an ailing Darfur rebel leader can get safe passage out of a hospital, according to a letter the actress wrote to Sudan’s president and posted on her Web site. couldn’t find an expert.

4. College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex — they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and “it feels good,” according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior. No s@#*. Expert confirms.

5. Forget the square jaw, rugged complexion and tough-guy macho attitude — what women really want is a man with full lips and feminine features, according to a British study published. Expert confirms.

At this point, yes the room is starting to spin violently. I checked outside no cable guy i checked the modem no signal!!. I frantically ran around my house with my laptop hoping to pick up someone else’s wireless feed, Nothing!!. I need information!! No luck. All of a sudden i see a cable truck slowly pass my house ” he’s lost!!” i ran outside got in my car to chase him down i pull up next to him like a madman screaming “over here over here” he looks at me and guns it. I go back home embarrassed at my display of desperation.

All of a sudden the phone rings, its the cable girl saying the guy was looking for my house but was chased by some crazy guy yelling from his car. there was an awkward silence and she said “was that you”. I said
“maybe”. She laughed and then i heard the door.